Love is All Around.
10 Definitions of Love:
1. Love is... a novel by Toni Morrison.
2. Love is.... a ballad by John Lennon.
3. Love is.... an album by The Cult.
4. Love means... zero points in a game of tennis
5. Love means... to sleep together or to have intercourse with.
"They made love under the stars.'
6. Love is... an action of knowing and appreciation.
"They made love under the stars.'
6. Love is... an action of knowing and appreciation.
7. Love... can also be a deep like for something pleasurable. "I love dark chocolate".
8. Love is... a profound and caring attraction toward someone
9. Love: represents a range of human emotions and experiences related to the sense of
9. Love: represents a range of human emotions and experiences related to the sense of
affection and sexual attraction and...
10. Love is energy that lives in the heart!
3 Types of Love:
1. Eros
Eros is said to be the most egocentric of the three types. It is the stereotypical "Romantic" love. This is sensual love, ruled primarily by libido.
10. Love is energy that lives in the heart!
3 Types of Love:
1. Eros
Eros is said to be the most egocentric of the three types. It is the stereotypical "Romantic" love. This is sensual love, ruled primarily by libido.
2. Philia
Philia which is loosely translated to mean friendship, was broken down into three different types by Aristotle in his "Nichomachean Ethics". He broke it down based on motive for forming them.
A. friendships of utility: these include acquaintances, and relationships such as a buyer and a seller. There is no real regard for the person.
B. friendships of pleasure: these include relationships where you share a hobby or common interest. An example would be 2 friends that go out drinking, or people who play on a sports team together. These friendships often end when they no longer share the common interest. (like if one of the two stops drinking.)
C. friendships of the good: These relationships are often referred to as "true friendships". Both truly enjoy each other's characters. These can endure because the motive is genuine caring for the person.
Aristotle wrote that for the most part the bonds of philia are symmetrical, however there are instances where no reciprocity exists an example of this my include the bond a father may have for his son.
3. Agape
Philia which is loosely translated to mean friendship, was broken down into three different types by Aristotle in his "Nichomachean Ethics". He broke it down based on motive for forming them.
A. friendships of utility: these include acquaintances, and relationships such as a buyer and a seller. There is no real regard for the person.
B. friendships of pleasure: these include relationships where you share a hobby or common interest. An example would be 2 friends that go out drinking, or people who play on a sports team together. These friendships often end when they no longer share the common interest. (like if one of the two stops drinking.)
C. friendships of the good: These relationships are often referred to as "true friendships". Both truly enjoy each other's characters. These can endure because the motive is genuine caring for the person.
Aristotle wrote that for the most part the bonds of philia are symmetrical, however there are instances where no reciprocity exists an example of this my include the bond a father may have for his son.
3. Agape
Many have described this as love that is divine, unconditional, self-sacrificing, active, volitional, and thoughtful love. It is interesting that many ancient manuscripts do not have this word. However, many Christians define it as the self-sacrificing love that God has for humanity.
6 Love Styles:
Love Styles or models of how people love were identified by John Lee in 1973. They were also known as "colors" of love. These were later expanded upon by Clyde Hendrick and Susan Hendrick of Texas Tech University in the mid 1980's. These are:
1. Eros - a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment.
advantage: the sentimentality of it. It feels good.
disadvantage: The disadvantage is the inevitable decay in attraction. In its extreme, eros can resemble naivete.
Love Styles or models of how people love were identified by John Lee in 1973. They were also known as "colors" of love. These were later expanded upon by Clyde Hendrick and Susan Hendrick of Texas Tech University in the mid 1980's. These are:
1. Eros - a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment.
advantage: the sentimentality of it. It feels good.
disadvantage: The disadvantage is the inevitable decay in attraction. In its extreme, eros can resemble naivete.
movie example: "The Notebook"
"We have the right chemistry".
2. Ludus - a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest. Ludus lovers are players, usually see marriage as a trap.
advantage: the ludus lover usually has great technique.
disadvantage: most likely to commit infidelity.
movie example: "Dangerous Liasons"
'What my partner doesn't know won't hurt her/him."
3. Storge - an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity. Often even if two storges lovers break up they can still remain friends.
advantage: high level of intimacy and trust
disadvantage: can experience lack of passion
movie example: "When Harry Met Sally".
"Our love is best because it grew out of a friendship".
4. Pragma - love that is driven by the head, not the heart; undemonstrative. This is practical, rational, with well thought out expectations. "The shopping list lover".
advantage: may avoid infidelity to avoid consequences. (There would be a price to pay; i.e., loss of status, financial loss, etc.)
disadvantage: undemonstrativeness and lack of emotion. In its extreme form, pragma can become prostitution.
movie example: "Ordinary People".
"I married him because he would be a good provider." "I married her because she can help me look good to others, which can enhance my career".
5. Mania - highly volatile love; obsession; fueled by low self-esteem
advantage: the high level of intensity
disadvantage: jealousy, obsessiveness.
movie example: "Fatal Attraction"
"I'm pretty sure my lover is cheating on me, and I am just sick about it"
6. Agape - selfless altruistic love; spiritual; motherly love
advantage: it's generous nature.
disadvantage: it can be quilt inducing, making one feel incompetent and like a martyr.
movie example: "Penelope in Odyssey"
'I would suffer anything rather than have my lover suffer".
References:
Hendrick, C. and S. Hendrick. 1986. "A Theory and Method of Love." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50:392-402. Hendrick, S. S. and C. Hendrick. 1987. "Love and Sexual Attitudes, Self-disclosure and Sensation-seeking." Journal of Social and Personal relationships, 4:281-297. Mallandain, I. and M. F. Davies. 1994. "The Colors of Love: Personality Correlates of Lovestyles." Personality and Individual Differences, 17:557-560
Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable.- Henry Ward Beecher
"We have the right chemistry".
2. Ludus - a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest. Ludus lovers are players, usually see marriage as a trap.
advantage: the ludus lover usually has great technique.
disadvantage: most likely to commit infidelity.
movie example: "Dangerous Liasons"
'What my partner doesn't know won't hurt her/him."
3. Storge - an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity. Often even if two storges lovers break up they can still remain friends.
advantage: high level of intimacy and trust
disadvantage: can experience lack of passion
movie example: "When Harry Met Sally".
"Our love is best because it grew out of a friendship".
4. Pragma - love that is driven by the head, not the heart; undemonstrative. This is practical, rational, with well thought out expectations. "The shopping list lover".
advantage: may avoid infidelity to avoid consequences. (There would be a price to pay; i.e., loss of status, financial loss, etc.)
disadvantage: undemonstrativeness and lack of emotion. In its extreme form, pragma can become prostitution.
movie example: "Ordinary People".
"I married him because he would be a good provider." "I married her because she can help me look good to others, which can enhance my career".
5. Mania - highly volatile love; obsession; fueled by low self-esteem
advantage: the high level of intensity
disadvantage: jealousy, obsessiveness.
movie example: "Fatal Attraction"
"I'm pretty sure my lover is cheating on me, and I am just sick about it"
6. Agape - selfless altruistic love; spiritual; motherly love
advantage: it's generous nature.
disadvantage: it can be quilt inducing, making one feel incompetent and like a martyr.
movie example: "Penelope in Odyssey"
'I would suffer anything rather than have my lover suffer".
References:
Hendrick, C. and S. Hendrick. 1986. "A Theory and Method of Love." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50:392-402. Hendrick, S. S. and C. Hendrick. 1987. "Love and Sexual Attitudes, Self-disclosure and Sensation-seeking." Journal of Social and Personal relationships, 4:281-297. Mallandain, I. and M. F. Davies. 1994. "The Colors of Love: Personality Correlates of Lovestyles." Personality and Individual Differences, 17:557-560
Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable.- Henry Ward Beecher
